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Note: this entry is inspired by this Business Insider piece about an HSBC executive who lives life as it should be lived—to its fullest!

I wake up at 5:30 a.m.

5-30 alarm clock

At approximately 5:30 a.m. nearly every day, I wake up because I have to pee. I try to stumble to the bathroom in the dark because if I turn on the light, it will wake me up just a bit too much and I won’t be able to go back to sleep. I’ll often pee sitting down and fall back asleep on the toilet.

My alarm goes off at 7:00 a.m., and then it’s time for meditation.

MEDITATE-blog480 

I have this great meditation app on my phone called “Headspace,” which provides a number of different guided meditation modules to help with everything from maintaining focus at work to eating mindfully. I haven’t actually used Headspace in months, but it’s nice to know it’s on my phone. Usually I just hit snooze three times (at nine minutes a pop, this takes me to 7:27), and then I get out of bed and head to the shower. The duration of my shower depends on whether I (a) wash my hair and (b) masturbate. I do the former roughly every other day.

I don’t actually eat breakfast, but if I were to eat it, I’m sure it would be a high-protein, healthy, California-style omelet, with eggs, mushrooms, cashew cheese, and nutritional yeast. And I would also drink a lot of water, because it’s important to stay hydrated.

Around 8:30 a.m., I head to work.

happy commute

I take the train to work most days. Sometimes I listen to one of my favorite podcasts, which is always “Guys we Fucked.” “Guys we Fucked” has two female comedians in New York talking to other comedians about their sex lives, and it’s really the only podcast I can stomach. And yes, I’ve tried Serial, This American Life, Radiolab, and Planet Money.

I get into the office around 9 a.m.

 Group of happy business people

Once I get into work, my day is full of staring at my computer screen and telling my clients not to do things.

I also have meetings, and I spend a significant amount of time trying to book open conference rooms. Sometimes it takes longer to find an open conference room for a meeting than to actually conduct the meeting itself.

At 10:30 a.m., I have a snack.

a bowl of fresh fruit set on a wooden table

I’m usually pretty hungry at this point, because I skipped breakfast. At my company we have a kitchen on every floor that is fully stocked with fruit, kale chips, and other healthy snack options. I’ve also discovered that if you bend down and open the lowest drawer near the floor, we have Kit-Kat bars. 10:30 a.m. is not too early for Kit-Kat.

It’s time for lunch around noon.

 salad

I work for one of those tech firms that provides free, nutritious lunch to all of its employees. There is a salad bar with fresh seasonal produce, and given the general theme of this article, you can probably guess how much time I spend there. There is also Taco Tuesday.

Around 12:21 PM, I go back to work.

DogAnnualMeeting 

I meant to take a full hour for lunch, but I completely forgot that I have a call at 12:30 and I need to allow 9 minutes to find a conference room. The call is to plan a planning session in which we will discuss the future of planning.

As I continue work throughout the afternoon, I sometimes take a break to have a snack and refuel.

 green smoothie

In the drawer to the left of the one with Kit-Kats (also at the bottom), there are those Lindt chocolate truffle balls. My favorite are the white chocolate ones. I know, I know—“white chocolate” is not really chocolate. But it is really delicious!

A big believer in continuous learning, I read articles and watch videos that my friends post to Facebook for at least 2-4 hours each day. young man with backpack having behind a classic building with bi

While that may seem like a lot of time, some of those exposés in the Atlantic about the rise of conservative fascism in America can take upwards of 40 minutes to read, and then of course I have to watch John Oliver, Samantha Bee, and Jimmy Kimmel.

Later in the evening, I work with an organization in the Philippines to promote educational opportunities for children in poor, rural areas.

laptop pic

And by “work with an organization in the Philippines to promote educational opportunities for children in poor, rural areas,” I mean “watch Big Mouth and Bojack Horseman on Netflix.”

In my spare time, I try to give back.

At 7:30 p.m., I do my P90x video for exercise.

 p90x

Yeah fucking right. I did that shit for like a week, maybe 6 years ago. At 7:30 I’m still watching Netflix, yo.

Still, the best way to wind down after a busy day is cooking with my girlfriend and experimenting with new recipes.

couple cooking

Did you know that there are three different ways to reheat food from House of Dumpling? Microwaving is obviously the fastest way, and the stovetop works well too, but we’ve found that the toaster oven has a significant rejuvenating effect on four day-old potstickers.

After dinner, we set aside time to read, which has become our evening ritual.

couples-reading-together

The setting aside time part, that is. We haven’t actually read in months, but let’s face it, nobody has ever actually ever gotten past page 172 of Infinite Jest, and I’m sure as hell not going to be the first one to do it. We usually spend this time that we’ve allotted for reading watching more Netflix. The Good Place is kind of corny, but strangely addictive.

Then, sometime around 11 p.m., after looking at our respective phones while lying in bed next to each other for a good 30-90 minutes, we’ll turn out the light and go to sleep. That is, until my roommate comes home at like 1:30 a.m. on a freakin’ Thursday, causing my girlfriend’s dog to jump up and start barking its head off.  This is why I’m tired all the time.

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